Setting Boundaries

Setting boundaries is one of the hardest things a person can do at work and outside of work. If you’re like me, you struggle to say ‘no’- and when you do, you feel bad. Establishing boundaries helps others learn where you stand, and what you won't stand for. Some people will take setting boundaries as ‘bitchy’ or ‘mean’, here are some ways you can set boundaries without coming across as mean.  And if its mean, so be it.

  • ‘Sorry, I wish I could but I’m on a timeline.’

  • ‘Good luck with that! I know you will do great with that project.’

  • ‘I’m sorry, but that doesn’t interest me

  • Good ole-fashioned ‘no’ always works too

It takes courage to tell a coworker, family member, friend or even stranger ‘no’. During unemployment, it’s important to put yourself first, mentally, physically and emotionally- if you don’t have any obligations such as children, sick significant others etc.

Even with family members, it’s important to set boundaries during this time. Many parents or parent like figures (mentors, siblings, friends, neighbors etc.) will ask about your job, how your job search is going to start a conversation or check in with you about it. Believe me, its exhausting and invasive, but if you are lucky to have good people in your life- its because they care. Keep in mind, its okay not to engage or continue the conversation if you’re not ready to talk about it.

Here are some things I like to say to family members when they ask about jobs, work or being unemployed.

  • ‘Work is going-you know how it is’- the more vague, the less questions

  • ‘I’m here to talk about you! Not work! **insert innocent smile here*

  • "I’m taking some time to focus on myself and relax before jumping back in.”

  • “Oh didn’t you hear? I just got promoted to CEO of the UNIVERSE!!”- a little white lie won’t hurt Great Aunt Mildred now will it?

All in all, you don’t owe anyone a damn thing during this time. Besides paying your bills and being kind to others, your unemployment is your time to take care of yourself. Even if Great Aunt Mildred thinks your the CEO of the Universe ;)

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